Weddings and Funerals

Originally distributed June 2009

Within a month’s time I’ve experienced a Swazi wedding and a Swazi funeral. In mid-April one of my coworkers got married. It was a Christian wedding in a church but it had several different elements that I haven’t seen in America. First when the kids in the wedding party walk down the aisle, one of them carries a basket of candy and she throws it out to the congregation. The little girl at this wedding was actually chucking it at us, so you had to pay attention or you might get hit in the face by a piece of hard candy. The rest of the members of the wedding party dance down the aisle! I loved this part! It really added to the celebratory atmosphere. If I ever get married and end up getting married in a church, whoever’s in the wedding will be dancing down the aisle.

During the wedding there were times where the congregation would get up and go to the front of the church and dance with the bride, groom and wedding party. It wasn’t paired dancing, everybody was just dancing together in one big crowd. Also there was a choir that would perform songs periodically and they danced while they were singing as well. The bride, who is my coworker, actually sings in that choir so once all the usual marriage rituals were finished she joined the choir to sing with them. It was cool to see her standing in the middle in her wedding dress (a western style white wedding dress).

As the wedding went on….and on and on, I realized why they handed out candy in the beginning. Because it’s really long and you get really hungry! So it’s handy to have something to keep you going. The bride’s uncle was the videographer and after about 2hrs he came to some ladies sitting next to me and asked for a “provision of sweets.” Altogether, the wedding started about an hour late and lasted for 3 hours! Plus, we all got there almost an hour early. So we were there forever. But it was really fun. And we all ate after the ceremony was over. The wedding party took pictures outside after eating and then people left. So there’s no long reception or party afterwards because the party essentially takes place during the ceremony. Oh! And when I go to another Swazi wedding I’ll know to bring earplugs because the music and preaching are really, really loud.

Sorry I always put the sad stuff last but I’m covering these topics in chronological order. Another of my coworkers died tragically in a head-on collision on May 24^th. He was at the wedding in April and I took a picture of him outside dancing with a girl’s scarf tied around his head. That sort of captures his laid-back, fun-loving spirit. He was always happy and playful, and it’s such a shock to us all that we’re still trying to accept. His funeral was a week after his death and it took place at his mother’s homestead in the far south of the country in a very rural area. There are a lot of preparations that need to be done for a funeral in Swaziland because they’re not all taken care of by a company like they usually are in the States. All of us at All Out pitched in to help with things throughout the week.

The funeral was a typical 12hr overnight affair starting on Saturday night. First, the night vigil began around 10PM. Then the funeral service and burial took place at dawn on Sunday. Several staff went down on Saturday morning to build a tent where the vigil and service would be held, and string extension cords and light bulbs from a place with electricity to the homestead. One of the Swazi ladies on our staff helped cook food for the people who were there all day Saturday, making and serving lunch and dinner, and cooking food for the masses of people who would come later for the funeral.

I went Saturday evening with a few other coworkers and we helped prepare the food that would be served at dawn. Then we went into the tent where the night vigil had already begun. There were several pastors there taking turns preaching. The services alternated between sermons, which are delivered with much energy and volume, and songs that all the attendees participate in. Somehow, without having hymnals, everybody seems to know all the words and the tunes, because there are also no instruments. We non-Swazis, and non siSwati speakers, stayed until about 2AM at which point we were too cold and tired, so we took naps in the car.

Around 3:30AM I was too cold to sleep. It was about 45*F outside and windy, so it was really cold. I sat at one of the fires where the women were cooking and the guys were warming themselves. I talked with a Swazi guy for a while who was my late coworker’s brother-in-law. We talked about funerals in our countries and other aspects of our cultures and political systems, since they’re ruled by a king here. I also learned that he along with several of my coworkers and other guys took turns throughout the night digging the grave at the burial site nearby.

At 5AM they started the viewing and that’s when women started wailing and sobbing. The funeral service was held in the tent. As the sun rose, a group carried the casket and we all walked to the burial site about ¼ mile away. It was a huge procession and people were singing all the way there. At the burial site the pastors talked some more and people sang. Then we all took turns throwing dirt into the grave before the guys again took turns burying the casket. A group of women went to collect rocks which were placed over the grave. Everyone stayed until the burial was completely finished. Then we all walked back to the homestead and ate. After saying our goodbyes to his family we headed back home.

The Horrifying Part of Biking

Originally distributed April 2009 as “Cute, exciting, horrifying”

One morning I was biking to the nearby town of Simunye while Mduduzi was driving the volunteers there. It was so delightful cruising along and seeing vultures flying overhead, catching thermals and rising higher and higher, then cruising along in a string across the sky. Farther along several impalas were running parallel to me in the grass about 50yd in from the road. Beautiful!

As I made my way to Simunye there was an unexpected explosion. Flesh and car parts were suddenly flying in my direction. An impala had run out into the road at the wrong time. An SUV was coming toward me and the impala just darted out, giving the driver no chance to avoid it. I saw the impala run out and knew it would be hit. Within a split second the impala and the car merged. The majority of the impala’s body disappeared as soon as the impact happened, probably having been hurled into the bush in the direction from whence it came. But its intestinal contents burst all over the road. I slowed and swerved away from the road, flinching as the debris flew in my direction. The car pulled over several hundred yards past me. I stopped near the scene of the accident to take it all in. I must’ve been in shock because in hindsight, why would I want to see the remains of an animal hit by a car? What was I going to do? What if it was still alive? What if it was disturbingly mangled? Luckily, I didn’t see the body. And the smell from the intestinal contents was putrid and strong. So I continued on my way, trying not to vomit from the smell, which lingered for a while because the breeze was blowing in my direction.

Several minutes later, still on my way to Simunye, I cried. It was so sad and so shocking I was momentarily overcome. I still ride my bike on that road though as often as possible and just hope I don’t witness that same scene again. Sadly, it’s very common, and impalas are the most frequent victims because they’re the most numerous.

Biking with the Bulls

Originally distributed April 2009 as “Cute, exciting, horrifying”

In Hlane Royal National Park, where I live most of the time, I stay in a tent on the ground—no platform, nothing fancy, just your run-of-the-mill tent. I’ve been at Hlane for 6 weeks now so my tent hasn’t moved in all that time.  One morning when I was getting up I kneeled on the floor and I heard something move under the tent. My first thoughts were “lizard or scorpion” because they’re around and scorpions like to live under the tents. There was a crease in the floor of the tent so I pushed on it gently and I heard the critter move again. I kept doing this until I effectively chased the mystery animal out from under the tent. It turned out to be a cute little toad. It lived with me in that little space for about two weeks. Then it decided to move on. It was fun knowing I had a little neighbor there, even if I rarely saw it.

I recently bought a bike here in Swaziland and increased my happiness level by several orders of magnitude. Now I can get more exercise and move around more freely. My bike fits inside the kombi, so I brought it to Hlane right after buying it so that I can ride it out there during the week.

My first day riding it, I decided to leave the park and ride it on the tar road because there’s no place to ride it inside the park. Between the campsite and the road is a big game area, with hippos, rhinos, elephants, giraffes, etc, but no lions or big predators. You have to go through there to get to the road. Before I headed out, my field assistant Mduduzi told me he had seen elephants near the gates so I should be careful. Will do! As I pedaled out I looked carefully all around until I was again in safe territory at the other end. I rode along the road and had frequent adrenaline rushes as cars whizzed by at high speed. Mental note: next time ride against traffic so you can see them coming and see how much space they’re giving you.

On my way back into camp I remembered “elephants” so I was on the lookout. I went through the reception area and was cruising toward the gateway to the big game area. Screech!!! I grabbed the brakes and skidded to a stop on the dirt road. About 50yd to my left was a huge bull elephant. I got his attention by stopping so abruptly. Uh oh! I jumped off the bike and quickly turned it around to head the other way. He started coming after me. I ran, pushing the bike along next to me. There were two buildings near the gateway in the area I was in, Reception and a building across from it. I ran around the building opposite reception hoping that if the elephant couldn’t see me he’d stop his pursuit and move on.

Meanwhile a lady at reception was yelling to someone in siSwati. Then I saw the head ranger strolling down the drive, radio in hand, toward the elephant. I peaked around the building and saw the elephant standing in the gateway swaying back and forth as if he were thinking, “Should I chase that stupid girl or go back to browsing?” As the ranger approached, the elephant raised his trunk, appearing to sniff the air. There was chatter on the radio, which I’m sure the elephant could hear as well. He appeared to size up the situation and decide it would be in his best interest to stay inside the big game area and just continue on his way. After several seconds that’s exactly what he did. Thank goodness! I watched the elephant mosey along until he was a good distance away. But I stayed in my hiding place until the ranger gestured for me to go on through. Before I left though the receptionist cautioned me, “Be very, very careful or else you will become bulls@&$.” Thanks.